Expectation
by myLITTLEnekoSHIRO
Summary: I didn't expect him to adore me. I didn't expect him to respect me. But I did expect pain. And lots of it. Tesra's POV. Rated M. Read at own risk


**Wanted to do this one for a while. I like them. Or I just like sadist-masochist relationships. Either way I'm a pervert.**

**Yayyyy oneshots *throws confetti in the air***

**Enjoy**

I thought I was going to die.

I wasn't the strongest and I'll be the first to admit that. Eventually I was going to become someone's meal. I didn't stand a chance.

Then he showed up.

It was all so sudden. I blinked. And the next thing I knew someone was ripping my predator apart and chopping noisily on its insides. Blood splattered across his insect-like form. And I was smitten.

It lifted its bulbous head, antennas twitching, watching me with its eyeless stare. I trembled. Its reiatsu was so overwhelming.

It went back to its meal. Once finished, it scuttled away, leaving me alone with the dead carcass.

* * *

He found out I was following him one day. He didn't kill me. But he did rip my arms off.

'Stop following me like some fucking bitch,' he snarled, one arm twisting my insides painfully. 'Or I _swear_ I will not spare you next time.'

He left me to bleed.

* * *

There is a new king of Hueco Mundo. His name is Aizen-sama. That was the first thing I learned when I was reborn. The second thing I learned was that _he _was there too.

Nobody told me. I was just wandering the palace when I found him. The minute I laid eyes on him I knew who he was. That _aura _and _raw power _oozing from him was so familiar I was immediately transported to the first time we met.

'Who the fuck are you?' he sneered at me.

I was almost hesitant to remind him. What if it angered him? Or worse, what if he…

'I'm…I'm the one who would follow you…'

'Who?'

…forgot me?

'It's nothing.' I lowered my head, heart thumping strangely. Then, on second thought, I looked up at him. 'If I may ask, what's your name?'

I half-expected him to lash out at me. Instead, he just narrowed his eyes.

'Nnoitra Jiruga,' he answered gruffly. He left without asking for mine. But I didn't care. I was satisfied.

_Nnoitra-sama_. I finally had a name.

* * *

My head was spinning so fast I almost ran into a wall several times.

He deserved it. He was meant to be in that army. He was meant to be an Espada. I should've known he would be picked. He was the strongest beings to grace this world. And his Fraccion…I wanted to be _his_ Fraccion no matter _what. _

I had to be the one. No. I had to be the _only one_. No one else was worthy. Nobody _deserved _it. Not like I did.

* * *

He laughed in my face.

I stumbled away, desperately trying to mend my shattered soul.

* * *

His new Fraccion was a rather pretty, young thing with soft blonde curls and an ample chest. I hated her with a passion.

* * *

He had a new one. A redhead. I wonder what happened to the first one. There was a rumor that she was lousy in bed.

So he blew her head off.

* * *

I almost lost my head today. But Santa Teresa missed me by inches. Or maybe, he missed on purpose.

'You think I haven't noticed?!' Nnoitra-sama seethed. 'You hiding around corners, watching me so intently, stalking my very shadow?! Fuck off already!'

I gulped thickly, heart palpitating in fear as his reiatsu soared in anger. The indigo-headed Fraccion by his side trembled at his immense power. Weak, insignificant creature. Did she _really _think she was worthy to be his?

'Why,' I whispered, gritting my teeth. 'Why won't you…?'

'_Why_?!' he snarled. 'Because you _piss me off_! Is that a good enough reason for you!?'

I had nothing to say.

* * *

'Nnoitra, how is your Fraccion serving you?'

'Need a new one.'

'Again? Honestly, you should take better care of your things.'

'Not my fault they're fragile.'

'Everything you touch seems too fragile.'

Aizen-sama sighed and leaned his cheek on his knuckles, thoughtful.

This was probably the tenth Fraccion Nnoitra-sama had killed. I heard some lesser Arrancars gossiping that they would rather die than be picked.

At least they had a _chance _to be picked. No matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried to please Nnoitra-sama, he simply refused to have me. To be despised so immensely by the man I admired…it was ripping me apart.

'What about Tesra?'

My head shot up in surprise. Aizen-sama was looking straight me, smiling icily. I dared not look at Nnoitra-sama. I could already tell what kind of expression he was wearing. I tried to hide from his view behind a larger Arrancar.

'Fuck no!' Nnoitra-sama spat. 'I'd rather have no Fraccion than have _him_.'

I winced. Aizen-sama's grin broadened.

'Nnoitra, you're hurting his feelings,' he remarked, amused.

'The fuck I care!'

'Well, if you keep murdering my subordinates I will have none. And besides, Tesra _wants _to be your Fraccion. Don't you, Tesra?'

All eyes were on me now. Even Nnoitra-sama's. I squirmed uncomfortably. If I disagreed, I would anger Aizen-sama. If I agreed, I would anger Nnoitra-sama. So which was the lesser evil?

Fixing my eyes on the floor, I nodded slowly. I could feel Nnoitra-sama's burning gaze on me.

'It's settled then! Nnoitra, you have a new Fraccion. And please, try not to break this one this time.'

'Don't worry, Aizen-sama.' His voice sounded strained. 'I'll take _special _care of this one.'

* * *

'You fucking cunt,' Nnoitra-sama hissed. 'Liked seeing me look like the idiot, huh? FUCK YOU!'

He kicked me in the gut. I yelped in pain, curling up into a ball on the floor. I think a rib broke this time.

He dropped to his haunches, lacing his fingers through my hair and yanking my head up harshly. I whimpered.

'I'm going to make your life _hell_,' he breathed, tightening his hold. 'You'll be in so much pain you'll wish you had _never_ met me. And I'm going to enjoy every minute of it while licking your blood off my blade.'

He laughed wickedly before tossing me aside like a ragdoll.

Only when I heard the door close behind him did I let loose a chain of choked coughs. I finally got what I wanted. Why did it hurt so much?

* * *

'That _bitch_!' Nnoitra roared, hurling a chair against a wall the minute he stormed into his chambers. I quickly moved out of the way, pressing myself against the opposite wall to avoid being struck. 'Who the hell does she think she is looking down on _me_?'

Nnoitra-sama was pissed. He had just lost a battle. Against Lady Neliel of all people. He'd lost before. But this time she belittled him, both physically and verbally. And if there is one thing Nnoitra-sama couldn't stand, it's to be ridiculed.

A large hand suddenly enclosed around my neck and pinned me to the wall so that my feet dangled below me. I felt my throat close up and fear flood my body.

'You pity me, don't you?' Nnoitra-sama murmured dangerously. I clawed at his hands, desperate for air. 'Poor, little Nnoitra-sama. Weak as a mouse. Can't even defeat a woman. That's what you think, don't you? _Don't you_?'

He shook me hard. My vision started to blur. _He's going to kill me._

'You know what? I pity _you_. I pity you _badly_, you piece of _shit_. And you wanna know why?' He chuckled darkly as he pulled me close, his lips by my ear. ''Cause the only thing Fraccions are good for is fucking.'

My eyes widened.

He smashed me against another wall watched me gasp for life as he approached me. He groped and pulled impatiently until my hakama lay in tatters beside us. I squealed, humiliated, as I felt rough hands jerk my thighs apart from behind.

'Please,' I whimpered. 'Please don't…'

'Are you _begging_?' he sneered, jerking my hips off the ground. 'You're _my _Fraccion. You don't _beg_ for your life…' His lips curled into a smirk. '…You _scream_.'

I screamed myself hoarse. I screamed so loud and so long my throat went raw.

It _burned_. The fire spreading from the base of spine until it engulfed my entire body. With each thrust he got more vicious, slamming in so hard I could practically feel his cock through my stomach. His fingers dug deep into my flesh, dragging me off his throbbing member, slick with my blood, before shoving it back in with a sickening squelch. The sound echoed in the room, wet, sharp and loud. Over and over again.

'Isn't this what you wanted?' he cackled over the crude smacking of skin-on-skin. 'To be my slave? To serve me like a loyal dog? Well, you got what you wanted! You're my _fucking _bitch, Tesra! And. You're. The. Best. Bitch. I've. _Ever. HAD!'_

Each last word was punctuated with a brutal thrust inside me and a sobbing shriek from my lips. That just made him fuck me harder and laugh even louder.

I loved every fucking minute of it.

* * *

He forced me to follow him everywhere the next day. Just so he could laugh at me. The further we walked the happier he got. Even more so when there were stairs. By the end of it, I was in tears.

'If I knew how much I was going to enjoy this,' he leered as I finally collapsed beside him, body shaking violently. 'I would've fucked you sooner.'

He hated me. If given the chance he would kill me in a heartbeat. But I was a source of entertainment now. And why would he want to kill his new toy?

* * *

Nnoitra-sama was smiling.

'You'll never guess what happened today, Tesra,' he said giddily, rocking on his heels a little.

_I couldn't._

'I did it.'

_What?_

'I finally defeated Neliel.'

_Ah._

'She's gone. She's gone, she's gone, she's finally, finally gone…'

He giggled maniacally. Then, he suddenly fixed me with his one eye. It gleamed maliciously.

'Tesra,' he purred, crooking a finger to beckon me. 'Come here, little Tesra. Sweet, _sweet_, Tesra.'

My mind screamed at me to run. But my body moved of its own accord. Once I was close enough, he grabbed my chin to draw me near. His breath fanned across my cheek and I shivered.

'On your hands and knees,' he rasped, teeth teasing my jugular. 'I want to celebrate in _style_.'

* * *

'I wonder what it's like to be in love…'

'Who'd love a she-male like you?'

'Shut the fuck up, Mila! Nobody asked _you_!'

'You just did!'

'I was asking Tesra!'

'Please leave me out of this…'

'Come on, Tesra! You would know!'

'I would?'

'Of course! You're in love with Nnoitra-sama, aren't you?'

I froze. Mila noticed and elbowed Apache roughly, yelling at her for hurting my feelings or something. I wasn't listening. My brain was putty.

I never thought of it that way. Nnoitra-sama was my master. I was to serve him without complaint.

But…what if?

* * *

'I'm fucking bored,' Nnoitra-sama drawled. He locked his eyes on me. I knew what was coming next. 'Tesra…'

My heartbeat quickened as he pulled me into his lap, kissing and nipping my neck eagerly. His hands were already inside my jacket when I grabbed his wrists.

'Nnoitra-sama,' I murmured, my face burning as I avoided eye contact. 'What…how do you see me?'

His eye narrowed.

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'I mean…' my mouth felt dry. '…do I mean anything to you?'

He stared at me for a bit. Then, he erupted into loud guffaws.

'_Mean _anything to me? Are you _supposed _to?'

I flinched at those words.

'Do _I _mean anything to you, Tesra?' he asked mockingly. My face grew hot again and I looked away. But he forced me to look at him, his nails scrapping my cheeks painfully. 'I do, don't I? Let me guess, you're _in love _with me. I'm right, aren't I? Don't lie! I can see it in your eyes! Poor, _pathetic_, Tesra. _Hopelessly _in love with his master.'

He chuckled.

'Aren't you just the little masochist?'

He jerked my head up so he could lick my neck. I shivered.

'Makes me want to fuck you harder.'

My chest hurt.

'I wish to leave, Nnoitra-sama,' I muttered, already shifting my legs off his lap. I couldn't do it today. I felt too full and too empty at the same time.

A vice-like grip on my hips yanked me back.

'You're not going anywhere,' a low growl sounded. 'Not until I'm done.'

I was so stupid. This was _Nnoitra-sama_. Did I _really _think I was going to get away so _easily_? Funny what idiotic things a broken heart can make you do. For example, trying to sonido off your master's lap. He snapped my legs in half for that. I don't think I've ever screamed so loudly. Not even when Nnoitra-sama forced my mangled limbs apart and thrust into me.

By then my voice was gone. My mouth was moving but no sound came out. It was like my voice refused to work. Even my body had abandoned me in that moment. I was left alone to suffer the pain shooting up my spine and the ache throbbing in my chest.

* * *

I couldn't stay in Los Noches. Not as long as I served Nnoitra-sama. And to not serve him either…that was worse.

My heart clenched as I imagined him with another Fraccion. I didn't doubt he would get one the minute I disappeared. I bet he had been waiting for me to leave. He couldn't wait to get rid of me and replace me. The thought twisted my heart even more painfully and this time, I let out a strangled sob.

Why did he hate me so much? Was I that despicable? Maybe I should just…_die_…

Suddenly, a wave of immense reiatsu hit me. I shot up to my feet, body trembling, heart palpitating. I placed a shaky hand on my blade. What was that?

My question was answered in the form of a Hollow. No, not a Hollow. It was an Adjuchas, almost a Vasto Lorde. I could tell. It was _enormous_, its grotesque, hyena-shaped mask almost filling the entire cave I was hiding in. Its eyes were fixed on me and I could see the hungry gleam in its eyes. I was dead meat.

I should've run. It was my best chance of surviving. But what was the point? As I stood before the beast, blade and body bloodied from trying to fend for myself, it suddenly hit me that I honestly had no good reason for living. Nobody cared about me. Nobody would miss me if I died. So really, was there a point to me even trying to live?

I should just accept my fate. Lay my blade down, close my eyes and welcome death like an old friend.

I was greeted with a torrent of blood and an ear-piercing shriek. I wrenched my eyes open. This blood wasn't mine and the sound wasn't ripping from my throat. It was the Adjuchas. Well, what remained of it. It had been cleaved in half by none other than...

'Nnoitra-sama…' I murmured in disbelief, eyes transfixed on that slender silhouette and the magnificent blade casually resting on his shoulder. That's when I noticed the wound running diagonally across his abdomen, blood oozing out thickly.

'You're hurt!'

As if on autopilot, I scurried to his side, ready to treat his wound. He suddenly shoved me aside, face contorted in anger.

'It's your fucking fault, you moron!' he yelled furiously. 'You leave without a warning and I had to turn half of Hueco fucking Mundo upside looking for _you_! You know how _pissing off _that was?! I couldn't fucking concentrate on my training and I almost let that asshole _Grimmjow_ beat me! _Grimmjow_, for fuck's sake! I could wipe the floor with him! And it's all thanks to _you_, you little runt!'

I suddenly felt light-headed. Did he say...that he'd been looking…for _me_?

'You were…looking for me?' I murmured faintly, unsure of whether to believe anything. His lips twisted into a snarl.

'Why the fuck would I be here if I wasn't?' he growled. I was still not ready to believe.

'You could have gotten another Fraccion, Nnoitra-sama,' I exclaimed impassively but my voice quivered with emotion. 'After all, I should mean nothing to the likes of you.'

His eye twitched. Then, he shot a hand out to grab the lapel of my jacket and lifted me off the ground so that I was almost nose to nose with him.

'You know,' he breathed. 'You've caused me nothing but trouble since I met you. Pissing me off, following me everywhere, groveling at my feet like some kind of spineless piece of shit. And worse, you've made it _impossible _for me to have anyone else anymore.'

My chest fluttered. What did he just...?

'It _pisses _me off, you know?' he hissed. 'The fact that I can't sleep with anyone else. No one is good enough. Because the way you touch me, the way you say my name, the way you moan…it's like nobody can do it _fucking _right but _you._ So it's _your _fucking fault, Tesra…' he dropped me back onto the floor, eye reflecting a strange emotion. '…it's your fucking fault that I don't want anyone else. It's gotta be you or no one and that's that.'

We stared at each other for a moment, not saying a word as we let everything sink in. After a while, he turned around to leave. And after a heartbeat, I followed. There was a spring to my step. He ignored it.

* * *

'Get away from me!' Nnoitra-sama snarled and hurled me aside. I grunted in pain as I hit the wall and watched him stalk away.

'Jeez, Tesra, he treats you like _trash_,' Sun-Sun tutted from behind her sleeve. 'Why do you even _serve_ a bastard like hi-?'

She gasped as I pointed my blade at her throat.

'Do _not _speak ill of Nnoitra-sama,' I remarked coldly. I inched the edge a little closer to her skin, noticing a sweat drop trickle down her neck.

'Tesra!'

Sheathing my blade and giving the trembling girl one last glare, I trotted off around the corner to my beckoning master. He was running a finger up his blade, a sadistic grin plastered across his face.

'There's a war brewing, Tesra,' he cackled. 'A big one. There's a Shinigami with strange powers. He's already fought Grimmjow and cut off Yammy's arm.'

Not an amazing feat. But it was remarkable to able to do that to an _Espada_.

Nnoitra-sama inclined his head at me.

'Do not disappoint me when this battle ensues,' he said quietly. 'Or I will cut your head off myself.'

I bowed in understanding.

At one point, a threat like that would have had me trembling in my boots. But now, it was just a gesture. It wasn't a gesture of love, or hate or sympathy.

It was just…a gesture. To prove I actually meant something. And I wouldn't ask for anything else.


End file.
